One Year

It was exactly one year ago today that we told my parents that they were going to be grandparents. Four days earlier, I got the positive pg test. Three days earlier, I told John he was going to be a dad. Soo much has happened since that day. It seems like yesterday, but this little girl has been officially part of our world for over year now. I sometimes read through my blog to remember what it was like to be pregnant. It's 100% true what they say-you really do forget all the pain, discomfort, sickness, etc when that baby makes its appearance. I can hardly remember what it felt like to be pregnant! This has been such a fun year...from getting ready for our girl's arrival, anticipating what and who she would look like, meeting her and taking her home, and getting to see her little personality develop over the past 4.5 months. I did have a little reminder of the early days of being pregnant this past week. It was time to pull out the Jergens tanning lotion now that summer is in full force. I hadn't used it since last summer, and the smell of the lotion triggered memories from last summer. I put it on and instantly felt nauseated. Seeings as I did spend a good portion of last summer with my head in the toilet, it makes sense that any smell from that time would trigger that feeling. I do not miss that part of being pregnant at all! 

This past month, Ry turned 4 months! At 4 months old, she has: 

-Mastered rolling in both directions

-Gotten big enough for an exersaucer 

-Discovered that in addition to high pitch noises, she can also make her voice go low and deep like a old lady that has smoked for most of her life 

-Attended her first (and my first) Bat Mitzvah 

-Decided that she no longer wants to take a bottle, which has made going out without her difficult. What happened?? 

-Learned that everything in her vicinity must go in her mouth. Including the cat's tail. 

-Expresses a real interest in food. She grabs for it at every meal. I may not hold out to 6 months before I give her solids 

-Doubled her birth weight and grown 4" as of her 4 month appt 

-Her first international trip booked. Not too sure how 11 hours on a plane will go...

 Here are some pics from the last few weeks

Hi Chubby!

Hanging out at her doc appt...poor girl has no clue what's about to happen = (

All dolled up for a Bat Mitzah. Mazel Tov!

Memorial Day BBQ Fun

Family Photo Shoot Framer

Loves her new toy!

Just working on my tan

Lunch date with Grandma

Out on our nightly walk

Some things don't change...

Hey look, I'm 4 months old!

Outdoor World-picking up an infant life vest that I'm sure going to LOVE wearing!

My 1st tea party w/ Mama, Grandma, and GG

Clearly Daddy was on baby duty while mama was out. 

Catching some zzzzz's

Just another day shopping @ SCP

I just LOVE this little girl! Thank you for the best 4.5 months of my life little lady!! xoxo

Father's Day

Well, this year there was an additional father in my life that I got to celebrate...my own hubby John! He's actually the only daddy that was celebrated this year, since my pop took off to Cabo for a much needed getaway. Father's Day weekend was spent exactly how John wanted it-we did nada! J has been traveling pretty much non-stop since Ry was born, and he hates leaving her. So, after a couple of back to back trips, all J wanted to do was hang with his girls. So, on Sat we lounged around the house, leaving only to go pick up movies from Target. On Sunday, I made John his dad's German Pancake recipe (which I swear are just crepes, but heaven forbid I refer to them as that). After lounging around the house for a few hours, we headed out to Golfsmith so John could pick up his Father's Day gift-a new set of golf clubs! We swung by his parents for a brief visit, then returned back to our fortress of solitude so John could chill and feast on his homemade apple pie. It was just the low key weekend that this guy needed after such a hectic month.

Helping Daddy pick out his new golf clubs

 When I got pregnant, I wondered what John would be like as a dad. It's not like I thought he wouldn't be a good dad, but I had never seen him with a baby, and he NEVER wanted to hold anyone else's babies...even our close friends' kids. I guess this is a guy thing, but I pictured him being nervous during the baby phase, and jumping in more as Ry grew. I couldn't have been more wrong. This guy is a natural. He can't stand being away from his girl, and he is such a doting dad. He gets her out of bed in the mornings and changes her and dresses her. He even knows that her outfit's not complete without a matching bow or headband! He is the best daddy, and Ryleigh just lights up when she sees his face. 

Paranoia, Paranoia

Being a mom has been a very smooth transition for me. I have a mellow baby, a great husband, and wonderful parents who have helped at every step. Heck, my mom still brings coffee and breakfast over every morning-something she started the day I brought Ryleigh home. I didn't have an ounce of the baby blues, and have really felt great over these last four months. BUT, one thing I wasn't able to escape  is the paranoia. Paranoia that something bad will happen to this little family that I love so much. Ryleigh was about three hours old when it set in. I remember settling in recovery for the night. John was asleep on the couch in the hospital room, and I was alone with Ryleigh for the first time since she was born. I looked at her and the first though through my head was "what have I done?" Before I had kids, I had no real fears. Sure when I was home alone, my mind would wonder and I'd double check the alarm system, or when John would travel, I'd have a little knot in my stomach until I got the phone call that he landed safely, but that was really it. Sitting in that hospital room, I remember the feeling of panic that I was now in charge of something that was more precious to me than anything-and what would I do if anything ever happened to that? Then, the door to my room opened and the nurses came in for a routine blood draw and check in, and those feelings were soon forgotten….for the moment anyway….

Now, we are almost four months in. I am a normal, rational person during the day, but at night time, those thoughts come flooding in. I blame all the sick stuff I used to read and watch on TV (did I mention I have not one, but two volumes of The Encyclopedia of Serial Killers in my house and that I've read every page of them? I used to be very intrigued by that and wanted to be a forensic psychologist, hence the gory book collection). Combine that with the fact that my dad works with families with terminal kids, and I hear many of those stories, and you get a recipe for a crazy person. Case in point-Ry still sleeps in our room. We kept her in with us until she habitually slept through the night. She's more than ready to be in her own room, and every day I say that tonight will be the night she goes in her crib, but then night time comes, and I worry. What if there's an earthquake, or fire, or break in, or Zombie attack (haha) and she's far away from us?! Yeah, this kid won't be getting any siblings because she'll be in her room until she's 18!

My mom and aunt told me what I already know. This feeling of constant worry about your kid will never end. I know that it will just get worse as she grows and develops independence and starts spending more and more time away from me. It makes me sorry for the crazy things I put my mother through-like sky diving for my 18th bday, scuba diving at night, scuba diving with SHARKS…God I give myself the chills over the things I did when I was "young and adventurous". BUT, as a rational person, I know that we must LIVE life and not hide from it. So, that's what we'll do. We will go on adventures, travel the world, show our girl all the great things and places we've seen over the years, take her camping and rock climbing and rafting, and at the end of the day, we will tuck her into bed with us! Hehehe


This quote is everywhere, but really, truer words have never been spoken: "Making the decision to have a child-it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body"-Elizabeth Stone